Warning: Post about parents, furniture and sex toys.

We recently purchased new bedroom furniture. Having outlasted our hand-me-down furniture and having put up with our inexpensive pkea (see Futurama clip here) long enough, we decided to buy real grownup furniture.

While in the process, Dr. H mentioned to his father that we were shopping for furniture. His dad excitedly pointed out that we would be able to take our pick of furniture from his old house and Dr. H's grandparents' old house. The houses are on the same property and are scheduled to be put on the market soon. Unexcited about more hand-me-down furniture, Dr. H. was noncommittal. However, a month later, when Dr. H. proposed driving there in June and possibly towing a small rental trailer behind him if the need arises, his Father insisted he should fly and rent a truck, because there would be way too much stuff for a trailer.

Uh-oh.

"Does he think we are taking a whole set of bedroom furniture in addition to your grandfather's papers?" I asked.

"I don't know. I didn't think so before, but now?"

We have a small bedroom and by this time had already decided on a platform bed with drawers to improve our storage situation. We bought it and two large dressers with deep drawers from a popular catalog we will call EarthenwareBarn. We forged ahead and purchased the furniture. It arrived prior to Dr. H. finalizing his plans to visit his father. In retrospect, I'm not sure if this tactic would be considered brilliant, passive-aggressive, cowardly, or what, but is seemed no big deal at the time. The day the furniture arrived, I mentioned it to FIL's partner when I spoke to her on the phone, forgetting this might be a sticky situation. She sounded extremely surprised. Uh-oh. A half an hour later, FIL calls to talk to his son. Why had he purchased furniture? Why had he not waited until he came to visit? I told Dr. H. to blame it on me, the daughter-in-law, but Dr. H. would have none of it. Instead, he explained our storage situation to his father, leaving out the small detail that one of the reasons we lack storage is the amount of space we have dedicated to sex toys and BDSM equipment. (Apologies to anyone shocked. To those curious, we are both switches.)

Anyway, two days after that awkward conversation, Dr. H. brought the furniture up with his father again, who assured him he understood. In truth, FIL has a tendency to advocate for solutions to problems that work well for him, sometimes not hearing or absorbing others' lack of enthusiasm or objections to the idea. Once he had time to realize we had never actually said or even implied we wanted any of the furniture, he was very gracious. All is well.

In other news, my mom is staying with us for June and July. Having recently retired, she is in the process of moving across country to be near her brother and by the ocean. She loves the new furniture. The bed is great, with six deep drawers around the outside.

"What are you going to put in all those drawers under the bed?" she asks.

"Um..." I say, pausing, as this conversation has just become a little awkward.

"Oh!" here eyes grow wide. She knows we are kinky. Other than that she prefers no details. In general, she is fine with it. She thinks we are adventurous and doesn't want to know too much more.

After a moment she says, "But what about the other five drawers?"

"Uh..." I pause again to think. I am totally unprepared for this conversation. And, in general, I try not to lie to my mother, so it doesn't come easy.

"You need all SIX drawers?" She asks, incredulous.

"Um, well maybe four or five," I say, "not including what's in the closet."

"Oh!"

Mercifully, the conversation ends here, with only minor embarrassment and perhaps some small amount of amusement on both our parts.

Of course, since having kids, much of our equipment is sadly neglected. But the kids are sleeping really soundly at night now. Perhaps we just need to invest in a little more soundproofing?

Double Take

1. I must confess, I love this picture, but I'm a naughty, godless sort of girl. Dr. H took one look at it and said "I bet there are some women concerned about that." Of course he is right. I'll say one more thing about this: Yea Nancy Pelosi!
   
   
   
2. On a mostly unrelated note: Assuming this is true it is unsurprising that the same people are concerned about it too.
   

Parade

We went to Big City's Gay Pride Parade on Sunday. Angry Professor has already extolled the virtues of taking small children to such an event, so I will leave that discussion in her capable hands.

Much fun was had by all. Curie enjoyed the rainbow balloons and music. Dalton was fascinated. I do not know if his fascination was due to the cars pulling the floats, the crossdressing, or both. Eventually, we were well past nap time and everyone was tired. Here is a photo of my mother with Curie and an arm of Dr. H's with Dalton asleep on his shoulder, which I show mainly to show off Curie's cool rainbow tie-dye.



The guy in the gray t-shirt behind Curie and her Grandma in the photo was quite drunk. He tried to come on to my mother, who as it happens is both single and straight, but does not like drunk guys.

Hey, focus on your own family. Thanks.

The House has passed a hate crimes bill. I'd be excited if it weren't for the lack of a veto proof majority (212 is a long way from 290). The Time's one line summary:

The bill, extending “hate crime” protections to include sexuality, is likely to face a veto from President Bush.

The usual suspects are up in arms. You know, people who focus on other people's families and women who are concerned about other's peoples sex lives.

In any case, this makes me want to share two completely unrelated thoughts:

1. A great book for kids discussing all kinds of families is Todd Parr's The Family Book. Actually, I like quite a bit of his stuff including The Peace Book, The Mommy Book and The Daddy Book. Some time ago, I introduced my much-more-hippie-than-me sister-in-law to his books. Unfortunately, this resulted in us both buying The Peace Book for the daughter of a second cousin. But I digress. These are great books for encouraging tolerance.

2. On a totally different subject, it's Leather Pride Week in Sydney! Blogthings knows this, apparently:

You Belong in Australia

Ace! Sunny, upbeat, and cute You make the perfect surf bum Now stop hogging the vegemite!

What English Speaking Country Are You?