A conversation

Me: Wow, I had no idea there was an xfig port for the Mac

Dr. H: Um...

Me: Can you tell I don't want to work on these letters?

Dr. H: I wasn't going to say anything, but...

Difficult Letters

Student A: Reasonably bright, helpful, model student in terms of homework, deadlines, attendance and the like. He is not challenged in the majority of his non-science classes where he seems to excel. He also does very well in science classes with a lot of structure and a lot of graded homework. Unfortunately, this makes him lazy in the few science and math courses that require him to study on his own to fully grasp the material. Recently dropped a recommended, but not required, math class because he had done all the homework, but was scoring low on tests. Dependable, but never goes above and beyond what is required in classes. Yet he is intellectually curious, takes extra classes and reads non-fiction for fun. I really like him. I hope grad school makes him step up to his potential.

Student B: Quite bright, but not nearly so much as he thinks he is. So sure of his own abilities, he has trouble seeing past his own mental models. When something looks somewhat familiar, he says he "knows all that already" even though it only looks like what he does know on the surface. Shows moments of deep insight in between being annoyingly stubborn. Has good leadership qualities except when he is pissing people off by being so arrogant. Has e-mailed me at least four times regarding letters of recommendation for grad school, not one of the e-mails has the appropriate tone for someone asking for a favor. He has no idea how much further he will go if he drops some of the attitude. I really want to like him, but usually don't. I hope grad school humbles him a little, because that is the way he will be able to step up to his potential.

How to spend one's first evening of winter break

• Arrive home to the welcoming smell of t-butyl mercaptan in some, but not all areas of the house
  
  
• Call natural gas company to report gas leak
  
  
• Open windows
  
  
• Hear CO detector go off
  
  
• Put cats in pet carrier, kids in coats and head to neighbors
  
  
• Call gas company again
  
  
• Call neighbors to tell them we've let ourselves into their house
  
  
• Gas company reports fire department will be coming too
  
  
• Wait
  
  
• Neighbors come home, our kids play with their kid
  
  
• Their cat hisses at our cats
  
  
• Gas company and fire department arrive. Vent house. Close up again.
  
  
• Fire company determines CO is coming from water heater and/or furnace and the water heater has a hole in it and needs to be replaced.
  
  
• Listen to fire department tell us not to turn on furnace until someone comes to check it or fix it.
  
  
• Find "turn on the water and hope for the best" to be insufficient precautionary steps against freezing pipes.
  
  
• Call extremely odd but competent heating and cooling guy.
  
  
• Agree that our pipes would probably not freeze by 8am if our house was at 70 degrees now.
  
  
• Explain that our house is at approximately 20 degrees now.
  
  
• Wait.
  
  
• Observe that kids are all tired and hungry and getting on each other's nerves.
  
  
• Observe that our cats are hungry and getting on each other's nerves.
  
  
• Return to house to get Mac-n-cheese and another cat carrier.
  
  
• Heating and cooling guy arrives, assesses safety of furnace, fires furnace up and sets at 50 degrees for the evening once assured humans and pets will be retreating to a hotel.
  
  
• Agrees to show up at 8:30 to replace WH, recommends replacing furnace, tells Dr. H all about the problems he has with his colon and his ex-wife.
  
  
• Go through house quickly to collect necessities for the evening.
  
  
• Retreat to hotel over protests of neighbors, having already taken up four hours of their evening.
  
  
• Get kids/cats settled in hotel. Look over furnace brochures. Check consumer reports and manufacturer's website. Note that a 20+ year furnace in our poorly constructed house is likely to have very low efficiency.
  
  
• Call heating and cooling guy in the morning to find out if they sell the 93% efficient furnaces in the manufacturer's product line in addition to the 80% efficient one he gave us the brochure for.
  
  
• Pack up cats and kids, meet heating and cooling guys at house, install 93% efficient, two-stage furnace and new water heater.
  
  
• Buy new CO detectors.
  
  

Everything you've imagined about ball pits is true

Near our home in suburbia is a commercial indoor playground. We've gone a few times when the weather has been bad and we desperately need an outing. Dalton loves the place. Within seconds of arriving, he disappears up into the colorful complex, showing no fear of heights or any anxiety about getting lost. Sometimes he waves at us from some tube or porthole at the top, other times he reappears at the ground level, allowing us to catch only a glimpse of him before he disappears up another climbing tower.

If we haven't seen him for a while, we will climb up into the complex itself. Invariably, he sees us first, usually from halfway across the thing, several levels away, with no clear path between him and us. He'll say something like "I'll come find you," and then will inexplicably appear in front of us 30 seconds later, laughing.

I love seeing him there. It is almost like he was born to live in a three dimensional maze.

Curie is more tentative, and she wants Dalton to stay with her and play on the lower levels. She yells at him to come with her. He indulges her some of the time, playing in the ball pits, jumping in the bounce room, riding dinosaurs in the toddler area. Then he disappears upward again. Sometimes she follows him part way, going just a little farther each time. She yells at him to stop and come back down with her, but by then he is several levels away, climbing through some tubes or riding down a slide, too far away to hear her. Then he arrives at the bottom again, often around the same time she does. Then they are off again onto the dinosaurs or into the ball pits.

The last time we were there, they emerged from the ball pit and Dalton came over to show me a pink ball he'd found; it was one of only a handful of pink balls in a forest of blues and reds and greens and yellows. I took the opportunity to straighten out his clothes, and noticed something odd.

"Dalton, why are your pants wet?"

"Oh! I peed a little!"

As we left, I glanced at the ball sanitizer machine and wondered how often it is used.

Holiday

Thanksgiving was surprisingly normal. An 800+ mile drive there in surprisingly good weather, with two four year asking continuously "when will we be at the ho-tel?" or "when will we be at Grandpa's?" was balanced with the 800+ mile drive back in crappy weather with two four year olds asking "when will we be home?" only sporadically.

In between, we had the usual tension between siblings. The fight between Dr. H's brother and sister had a familiar refrain, with only slight changes in verse. She was critical of how he was running his life (in this case how he is parenting his stepdaughters); he was critical about her apparent resentment of their father's partner. He was critical of her criticism; she accused him of avoiding interacting and not meeting her gaze. The sister's husband and Dr. H played their usual roles, allowing each to vent, being supportive, trying not to take sides.

Accidentally trapped in the room next to a particularly long skirmish, Dr. H and I discussed whether we should leave and walk briefly into the fray to hand the sister's husband a beer or if we should simply stay put and have really loud sex. Sadly, we did neither of those things.

There's always next year.

It's my party and I'll _____* if I want to.

Dr. H: What do you want to do for your birthday this weekend? Anything special?

Me: Well, we are going out to the theater the night before.

Dr. H: I know, but would you like to do anything special on your birthday? I'm offering to watch the kids by myself if there is something you would like to do.

Me: OMG, I could really use a day at the office.

 

^{* work}

Yet more consistency with expectations

• Overheard: "I am so screwed."
  
  A student in my non-majors class who hasn't been to class in a week and a half, after receiving today's test.
  
  
• Observed: Another faculty member pulling out of the local sandwich shop in his large SUV, as I pull in driving my Prius hybrid.
  
  He is our resident climate change denier/skeptic.