When Geeks Marry Geeks

I had an epiphany yesterday: When our daycare providers try to give us advice, my husband (Dr. H) and I react in very different ways. He listens. I get defensive. He enjoys asking other people for advice about such subjects. I prefer books. Or blogs. Or magazines. Basically, I like asynchronicity.

I'm just as prone to parental anxieties as the next person about most things. However, right now I'm a little annoyed that our main daycare provider has just totally stressed out my husband.

Dalton hasn't been eating very well there recently. He has also been sort of zoned out at times - especially the last week or so. Our daycare provider has previously shared her concern that Dalton sometimes doesn't join in with the group and just goes off and does his own thing. She's now apparently concerned about his nutrition level and that this somehow is affecting his behavior. She was clever enough to share this with Dr. H. instead of me.

The reasons I'm annoyed are many, but the first thing is that Dalton has had a cold for the last 1.5 weeks or so. I had it first. The main symptom? Lethargy and lack of appetite.

I'm also more than a little annoyed at her having such a problem with my son's behavior. I want to scream at her "Have you noticed that his parents are TOTAL GEEKS?" and "Do you think that this only shows up in adulthood?" Call me crazy, but I think (a) having two parents who went to engineering undergraduate schools, (b) specialized in the most math-based areas of their chosen fields in grad school and who (c) love video games might just be relevant here.

The truth is, Dalton is very social and interactive when he wants to be. He has empathy and he also understands how to piss his twin sister off when he wants to. He often talks about wanting to see his relatives and knows who they are on site (grandma, grandpa and nana, cousins, etc) even when he hasn't seen them in a long time. This is not a kid with social issues. This is just a kid who prefers figuring out a door mechanism to circle time on occasion.

My conversation with Dr. H. went something like this:

Dr. H: I'm just worried about him

Me: He's fine!

Dr. H: Well what if his behavior is something we're...

Me: We just spent the weekend at your sister's house. She's a child psychologist, remember? If there was anything to be concerned about don't you think she'd tell us?

Dr. H: Well, I guess so.

Me: She would. I've asked her like 20 times if she would tell us if she was concerned and she promises she would.

Dr. H: Yeah, okay, but...

Me: He's fine!

and so on...

In any case, I don't think I succeeded in completely allaying his fears, but I hope he has relaxed a little. Our daycare provider is otherwise great, by the way. In principle, I agree she should share her concerns of this sort with us. I just don't like hearing them.

Anyway, what should be more surprising is how on earth Dr. H. and I were able to produce a child as socially aware as Curie.